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- Pakistan
- Jokes
- Teacher
& Student Jokes
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- Jokes
> Teacher
& Students
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- A first standard teacher was
having trouble with one of her students. >The teacher
asked,"Harry what is your problem?" >Harry
answered, >"I'm too smart for the first standard. My
sister is in the third standard >and I'm smarter than she
is! I think I should be in the third standard >too!"
>The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the
principal's office. >While Harry waited in the outer
office, the teacher explained to >the principal what the
situation was. The principal told the teacher >he would
give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
>questions he was to go back to the first standard and
behave. >The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the
conditions >were explained to him and he agrees to take
the test. > Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" >
Harry: "9". > Principal: "What is 6 x
6?" > Harry: "36". >And so it went with
every question the ! ! principal thought a third
>standard >should know. >The principal looks at the
teacher and tells her, "I think >Harry can go to the
third standard." >The teacher says to the principal,
"Let me ask him some questions?" >The principal
and Harry both agree. > >The teacher asks,
>"What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?" >Harry, after a moment, "Legs." >
>Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I
do not have?" >The principal wondered, why does she
ask such a question! >Harry replied, "Pockets."
> >Now no reactions or special face symbols on Harry's
face. He was >so cool! > >Teacher: "What does
a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry:
"Pants" > >Teacher: What's starts with a C
and ends with a T, is hairy, >oval,delicious and contains
thin whitish liquid ? >Harry: Coconut > >The
principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop
the! ! >answer, Harry was taking charge. >
>Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft
and sticky? >Harry: Bubblegum > >Teacher: What does
a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down >and a dog
do on three legs? >Harry: Shake hands > >Teacher:
What is that a woman has two and a cow has four ? >The
principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop
the >answer, >Harry: legs > >The Principal said
to stop this session, but the teacher continued. >
>Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort
of questions, answer me. >Harry: Yep. > >Teacher:
You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. >I get wet before you do. >Harry: tent >
>Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when
you're bored. >The best man always has me first.
>Principal was looking restless and bit tensed.
>Harry: wedding ring > >Teacher: I ! ! come in many
sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you >blow me,you
feel good. >Harry: nose >Guys ,please take things in
the right sense like harry and ME. > >Teacher: I have
a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
>Harry: arrow > >Teacher: What word starts with an
'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot >of excitement?
>Harry: "Firetruck" > >The principal
breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
>"Put Harry in the fifth standard, I missed the last
ten questions myself."
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- Quick Wit:
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In
English," he said, "A double negative forms a
positive.
In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double
negative is
still a negative.
However, there is no language wherein a double positive can
form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up..."Yeah,
right."
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- TEACHER: Cindy, why are you
doing your Maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
- TEACHER: George can you
count up to 5?
George count up to 5 slowly using his Fingers.
TEACHER: Good, now can you count any higher?
George put up his hand and count to five again using
his fingers.
- TEACHER: John, how do you
spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
- TEACHER: What is the
chemical formula forwater?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
- TEACHER: George, go to the
map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
- TEACHER: Willy, name one
important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
- TEACHER: Tommy, why do you
always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then
you are.
- TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go
Slow."
- SILVIA: Dad, can you write
in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
- TEACHER: In this box, I have
a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
- TEACHER: How can you prevent
diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
- TEACHER: Ellen, give me a
sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."
- MOTHER: Why on earth did you
swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
- TEACHER: If I had seven
oranges in one hand and eight oranges
in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands
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- Brought it on Yourself...
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please
stand up?"
said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one
freshman rose
to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an
idiot?" inquired
the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student,
"but I hate to see you
standing up there all by yourself."
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