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- A FEW OF LIFE'S UNANSWERED
QUESTIONS
** Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a
coffin?
** Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
** Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
** Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
** Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins
Lottery"?
** Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? ** Why
is a boxing ring square?
** Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your
lips?
** Why is it that doctors call what they do
"practice"?
** Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
** Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an
address, you
turn down the volume on the radio?
** Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and
dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons? ** Why is the man who invests
all your
money called a broker?
** Why is the third hand on the watch called second hand?
** Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called
rush hour?
** Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
** Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
** Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
** Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same
substance that
little indestructible black box is?
** Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
** Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you
can't
drink and drive?
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- On the very first day, God
created the cow. He said to the cow,
"Today I have created you! As a cow, you must go
to the field with
the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the
sun! I will
give you a life span of 50 years." The cow objected.
"What? This
kind of tough life you want me to live for 50 years? Let me have 20
years, and the last 30 years - I'll give back to you."
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said to
the dog, "What
you are supposed to do is to sit all day by the door of your
house.
Any people
that come by, or in, you will have to bark at them! I'll give you a
life span of 20 years!" The dog objected. "What?
All day long I
have to sit by the door? No way! Let me live for only 10
years. I
give you back my other 10 years of life!"
So God agreed.
On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to
the monkey, "A
monkey has to entertain people. You've got to make
them laugh and do
monkey tricks. And I'll give you a 20 year life
span." The monkey
objected. "What?
Make them laugh? Do monkey faces and tricks? Ten years
will do, and
the other 10 years - I'll give back to you."
So God agreed.
On the fourth day, God created man and said to him,
"Your job is to
sleep, eat, and play. You will enjoy very much in your
life. All
you need to do is to enjoy and do nothing. For this
kind of life,
I'll give you a 20 year life span." The man objected.
"What? Such a
good life! Eat, play,sleep, do nothing? Enjoy
the best and you
expect me to live only for 20 years? No way,
man!....... Why don't
we make a deal? Since Cow gave you back 30 years, Dog
gave you back
10 years, and Monkey gave you back 10 years, I will take
them from
you! That makes my life span 70 years, right?"
So God agreed.
AND THAT IS WHY...
In our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy the best
and do
nothing much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long,
suffer and
get to support the family. For the next 10 years, we
entertain our
grandchildren by making monkey faces and doing monkey
tricks. And
for the last 10 years, we stay at home, sit in front of the
door and
bark at people.
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