Indian Sardar Jokes

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- Indian Sardar Jokes

What do SMART Sardars and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.

Why did the Sardars stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Oh look, Daddy...Donut seeds.

Why do Sardars always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a Sardars sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Sardars dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone!

A letter from a Sikh patient to his family doctor:

Hi Doc,

As you know, when I first got married 11 years ago, me and my wife
came to see you to consult on family planning. We do not plan to have kids
and we asked you for advise. You told us to try birth CONTROL methods.
Tried as hard as I can, I couldn't help controlling myself from ejaculating and my wife got pregnant.
So we got our first child.

You then advised us to try ORAL contraceptives before sex. We did and yet my wife got pregnant. I failed to see how licking and sucking each other before sex can prevent her from getting pregnant!

After the birth of our second child, we went to see you again for advice. You told us my wife has to be ON the PILL and she did. Yet a few weeks later, we found out she was pregnant. I failed then to see how lying on top of the pill while having sex can prevent her from getting pregnant.

After the birth of our third child, we came to see you again. You told her to TAKE IN the PILL before sex this time. She did as you said and yet she got pregnant. I failed to see, even as we enjoyed it, how putting the pill in her you-know-where before sex can prevent her from getting pregnant.

After the birth of our fourth child, you told us to try the RHYTHM method and we followed strictly as you prescribed. It was very tough but somehow we managed. Yet my wife got pregnant again. I failed to see how dancing the rumba, cha-cha and the tango while having sex can help to prevent her from getting pregnant. So we got our fifth child.

You then suggested I put on condoms before sex. You even taught me how to put them on. Yet, my wife got pregnant again. I simply don't understand how putting French caps on my index finger as you taught me can prevent her from getting pregnant. My sixth child was a boy.

You then told me that I should have put the French caps on my "head" instead. We tried that too, and I nearly died of suffocation. I realized now which sane man would want to belief that putting condoms over your head while having sex would prevent your wife from getting pregnant, even though it nearly succeeded. So our seventh child was born.

We went to see you again. You advised us to CHANGE methods. We did, and yet my wife got pregnant and she had our eighth child. I failed to see how changing from the normal missionary method to the doggie-style and other methods can prevent her from getting pregnant.

Next you advised us to practice TOTAL ABSTINENCE. We strictly abstained
from taking all foods and liquids before sex until we were so weak and exhausted.
Yet we got our ninth child 9 months later.

You then advised us to try the ALTERNATE methods of birth control. We did that too, and yet my wife got pregnant. I failed to understand how having sex on alternate days and on alternate sides can prevent her from getting pregnant. My wife cried on the alternate days which made me alternate from being very happy to very sad. My tenth child was just born yesterday.

Dear Doctor,
I no longer believe in you and your birth control methods. I have seen a lawyer and I'll be suing you for giving us false advise. You'll be hearing from my lawyers soon ...
No thanks to you !!!!!

BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE. Friend: What are you looking at? Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? Beppo Singh: four asterisks!

There were 2 surd, both of them were good hunters, one of them Mr.Daka Singh killed only lions & tigers, and one Mr. Laka Singh killed only deers. Once they both met. Laka Singh asked Daka Singh how is that you only kill lions & tigers and I kill only deers. Tell me the trick. He told him just go to a cave and imitate the noise of a sheep the lion comes out of the cave and shoot him then that quite easy. After 2 months daka singh got the news that Laka Singh was in the hospital on questioning him he exclaimed I did the same thing you told me. I just outside a big cave and imitated the noise of a sheep but I did not know that deccan queen was coming out from the cave.

After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."